


Seeking - a Ghostbur Oneshot

by YourFavLocalMeme



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Dreamwastaken, Minecraft (Video Game), Wilbur Soot - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Based on a roleplay, Based on the Dream SMP lore, Canonical Character Death, Dream Smp, Gen, Ghostbur, Internal Monologue, Not based on the real people, Past Character Death, Used quotes from canon, ghostbur angst, no romantic relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29608584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourFavLocalMeme/pseuds/YourFavLocalMeme
Summary: My interpretation of Ghostbur's internal conflict. Has a general time frame but takes place about from the time Ghostbur is written into the lore to Doomsday.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	Seeking - a Ghostbur Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing about the Dream SMP so please be respectful! This is also mostly based off of my interpretation of Ghostbur. I know Ghostbur can be a pretty lighthearted character but I definitely think there is a tragic side to him. This is NOT RPF because it is solely based off of the roleplay and the characters that Phil and Wilbur play. 
> 
> **Major trigger warning for past character death and brief implied suicidal thoughts.**
> 
> Please be nice! I appreciate constructive criticism but please be respectful! Quotes directly taken from the Dream SMP are used - all credits go to the original writers and Phil and Wilbur for playing their characters so beautifully! I do not own the Dream SMP lore and all credit goes to everyone involved!

I keep wandering, looking for something I’ve lost. I’m not quite sure what I’m looking for. I suppose I’m looking for the person I used to be. 

  
I read the books, I know what I did. I’m the one who exploded a nation, leaving a disaster behind in my wake. Yet...I’m not him, am I? I’m a ghost with an enthusiasm for the color blue. I like to make others laugh; I like to help my friends.

  
I don’t know what you want from me. Do you want me to be him? Do you want me to be better? Do you want me to remember?

  
I am still wandering, looking for that thing I’ve lost. I speak to Tommy, to Quackity, to Fundy, to Phil. I speak to Technoblade, Tubbo, and Dream. I wonder what Alivebur thought of them. I think he loved them, but I’m not sure if that changed near the end of his time.

  
There is a faint ringing in my ear, a voice that seems to want to tell me things. It has memories and feelings, yet it never reaches the surface. I don’t remember, or maybe I don’t want to.

  
Why can’t I start over? I don’t want to be Alivebur. I want to be Ghostbur, their friend who makes them laugh.

  
I am breaking inside, and yet I have to be strong for them. There’s far too much going on elsewhere for me to bother them with what I feel. Very little in my measly life as a ghost do I constantly remember, but I feel the pain eternally.

  
And then the fateful day comes. Technoblade, Phil, and Dream bomb L’Manberg. I join the server and see the wreckage. And for a moment, I wonder if seeing the remainders of a destroyed country will make me remember. I want to remember, I realize. I am not a worthy replacement of Alivebur. I can’t fill the void in their lives that he left behind.

  
It hits me eventually, that Friend is gone. Friend...Friend. Friend, the one companion who expected nothing of me. Friend, who helped me escape from the constant torment in my mind. Friend, who may or may not have infinite canon lives. The blue sheep I told Phil to watch over.

  
So I break. I break and the shattered glass spews around me. 

  
“I don’t want to listen, I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I’ve read the history books, Phil,” I tell him, my voice laced with pain. I can no longer hide the suffering I go through. “You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You are the Saint George of the Dream SMP. Everyone understands that, Phil.” I wonder if I should be happy that he murdered Alivebur. After all, I wouldn’t exist if not for Phil. But after all the pain I’ve gone through, despite never doing anything wrong, do I truly want to exist?

  
I look around at the remnants of this country, this place that Alivebur loved so much, that _so many people_ loved so much. “Look what you’ve done. How can you look at this and still see yourself as a hero? Sending a message, Phil, sending a message?”

  
“Yeah,” he replies, his voice devoid of emotion, and at that moment I hate him. “Not to start another government. Not to take genuinely nice, wholehearted people and turn them against each other with power and corruption. That’s why, Will. I don’t want to see it happen again.”

  
“So you make me suffer? I don’t know what Alivebur did and I’m really trying to remember, but I know what I did. I just wrote books. I built--remember the lanterns we used to make? I built them. I built a house for people. I built this town just like I built Logstedshire, and I’ve watched them both blow up.” I remember seeing the remnants of Logstedshire, the place I loved so deeply. “And I didn’t-I didn’t hurt anyone, and yet I’m the one who pays. Tommy didn’t even live here, Tommy didn’t have a house here. I sewed the seeds of peace and yet I’m the one who pays for war. 

  
“I know I’m forgetful, I know I’m an amnesiac, I know I’m the comic relief in all of your stories but I still feel this. I still feel things, and I try my best to make sure no one feels it. I just--”

  
“I’m sorry, maybe you’ll understand someday.” He leaves the voice call.

  
All of a sudden, I want to be brought back. I don’t want to feel like I am half of a person anymore. I am still wandering, but now I seem to have a direction, and a goal: to be resurrected. 


End file.
